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To Sell Is Unethical
To Sell Is Unethical

Industry News

To Sell Is Unethical

Executive Leader Coach Dave Kinnear has a message from your customers: “Stop selling. I am ignoring your ads.”

Well, I suspect that title got some emotional responses. I am sure to see many emails from my friends in sales. So I might as well get started.


  1. to deliver or give up in violation of duty, trust, or loyalty and especially for personal gain
    Betray – often used with out 
  2. (a) to give up (property) to another for something of value (as money)
    to offer for sale
    (b) to give up in return for something else especially foolishly or dishonorably
    (c) to extract a price for
  3. . . . . Read More

You get the point, and the link above gives you the full Merriam-Webster take on Sell/Sold. To be sure, there are some positive definitions of “sell.” One is “to persuade or influence to a course of action or to the acceptance of something .” I want to “sell” you the idea that in today’s world, to sell people in the context of 2.(a) above is unethical. Why? Because there is an exchange of property and value, not simply sharing an idea. Usually we mean you get my product/service and I extract money from you—directly or indirectly—for my personal gain.


One of the definitions of “ethical,” is “conforming to accepted standards of conduct.” Of course “un” means to do the opposite, so unethical would mean not conforming to accepted standards of conduct. So what I am implying is that the accepted standards of conduct have changed and selling is no longer accepted by a large and growing percentage of our population. I think we sales and marketing folks (yes, I have a long history in technology sales and marketing) have ourselves to blame for that. We’ve allowed hyperbole, exaggeration and outright lies to creep into sales pitches, so people no longer have confidence in what they are being told. Thus, when we hear that nobody likes to be sold, we are saying that they do not like to be lied to, cheated and/or made out to be a fool.


I’m not going to inundate you with links–you can do your own search to see for yourself. Data show that when people do search for a product, service or information, they largely ignore any paid results. They go directly to organic results. And some go so far as to skip the first page of results and go to the second or third page since they believe that Search Engine Optimization (SEO) results are “corrupt” from so called “content marketing” on the websites. Elsewhere, ads are being measured as less and less effective. The growing use of Ad Blockers for browsers is significant. So the message from customers is pretty clear. “Stop selling. I am ignoring your ads.”

When I did my research, I found many blog posts and articles supporting sales and advertising. They were generally written by folks who provided sales training and/or sold advertising. In other words, they were selling selling and/or selling ads—from my view, they are doing so in the face of evidence of diminishing returns for their customers. Is that ethical? Are we playing the caveat emptor game? Who’s best interest is being served–customer or vendor? I think those who sell are shooting themselves in the foot.


I think about my own life and how I buy things. I avoid speaking with a sales person at all costs. They are being paid to get me to buy their product or service, not to do what’s best for me. How can I trust someone who makes a living getting people like me to place an order? They do not care about me, they care about their own need for commissions and/or quotas.

I do my own research and then, 90% of the time, purchase what I want on-line without ever speaking to the vendor. I would say 95% of the time this works out just fine. When I do go to a physical store, I know what I want ahead of time and rarely ask for help. I get what I need from the shelf and take it to the register. There are, of course, exceptions—like running shoes which I have no choice but to get a sales person to fetch from the inventory. Even then, once I know what brand and last fits, I will buy the next several pairs on-line.

In my own practice—Executive Coaching—clients come from relationships and referrals, not advertising or selling. I go out of my way to provide information of value with no expectation of a quid pro quo. We let prospective clients buy as opposed to anyone “selling” them. Any outbound contacts made, usually by my executive assistant, are from connections and referrals, not cold calls. Inbound calls come from folks who researched their need/want for a coach and found me.

New Standard

That, I believe is the new accepted standard of conduct. Yet one more business process disrupted by technology! As manufacturers and/or service providers, our job is to be found, NOT to sell. We must build relationships that add value, NOT sell. We must remove obstacles to buying, NOT sell. On the rare occasion that we are asked to “educate” a customer about product or service details, we must do so with their best interests at heart and NOT sell them.


Dave Kinnear

949-436-0222 (m)



dbk Associates Inc. Website:

Republished with permission.

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